So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
