he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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