Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize