that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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