Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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