Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
