Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
