so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
