Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
