actually, I'm a sock model
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh god it's open bar.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
