So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize