We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
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