he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize