i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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