on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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