so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
