he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
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