So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
