someone get that fucking seahorse.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
