And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
