well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
