His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
