Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Alive.
So much puke
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
