i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
NoShamevember. You game?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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