STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize