the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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