....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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