I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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