Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
