i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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