She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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