That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
