We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
