wakey wakey hands off snakey
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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