Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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