She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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