Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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