I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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