I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
