wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
