You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
