so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He felt like a one man threesome
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
false alarm, still single
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
