Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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