I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
