Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
