my mouth tastes like poor choices
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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