that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
