DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
