Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
wow bdsm is so cute
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
