Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
