Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize