I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Boobs speak an international language.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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