Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
