I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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