everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
