Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize