did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
