so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
