thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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