I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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