he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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