No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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