I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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